


I'll fucking bone you completely

by anoneknewmoose



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Dirty Talk, Double Penetration, Established Relationship, M/M, Marijuana, Podfic Welcome, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-28
Updated: 2011-06-28
Packaged: 2017-10-20 19:25:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/216291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoneknewmoose/pseuds/anoneknewmoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pride is for people that don't have four fingers in their ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll fucking bone you completely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fictionalaspect](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalaspect/gifts).



> A birthday fic for my dearest darling fictionalaspect, only 53 weeks late. ILU BB! Special shoutout to misswonderheart for cheerleading and sunsetmog for a fantastic beta. (Title from Tenacious D's "Fuck Her Gently.")
> 
> Note: this fic contains consensual use of the word slut.

Spencer doesn't know how many bowls they've burned through, but he feels _awesome_. Everything is warm and fuzzy, especially Brendon's belly, because Brendon likes to take his shirt off every time they smoke up.

"B. Yo, B," Spencer mumbles. He's tracing the little fold in Brendon's stomach where he's all curled up, over and over. It's velvet soft there.

"Yeah?"

"I really love your dick, man." Spencer laughs when Brendon laughs and makes his head bounce around. "No really! I really _really_ love your dick."

"Oh yeah?" Brendon asks. His voice is kind of far away but he twitches when Spencer nods and rubs his beard into a particularly ticklish spot on Brendon's neck.

"Fuck yeah, man," Spencer says. Brendon smells good and Spencer sticks his tongue out, drawing a long wet stripe up Brendon's throat. "But. Shit, Brendon. Know what'd be better?"

Spencer's fingers are rolling over one of Brendon's nipples, because the texture is awesome, a mutable slip-slide, soft-firm like a cock. Besides, it makes Brendon's voice go all funny.

"What, Spence?"

Spencer gets distracted, mentally comparing Brendon's nipples' response time to each other. He doesn't answer until Brendon tugs sharply on his hair.

" _What_ , B?"

"Spencer. What would make my dick better."

"Oh." Spencer snickers and leans back, beaming up at Brendon's face. "Two of them. Duh."

"Double the dick, double the fun?" Brendon busts up laughing, hard enough that even with Spencer half in his lap Brendon ends up on the floor.

Well. Spencer didn't think it was _that_ funny, but Brendon laughing is pretty funny. Spencer starts giggling, sprawling on the couch. His beard catches on the fabric and prickles.

"Two dicks. Jesus, Spencer," Brendon says eventually, possibly hours later, Spencer has no fucking clue. Spencer hiccups once and shrugs at him.

"S'truth, dude. It'd be hot," Spencer says. Brendon hums, unconvinced, and Spencer scowls down at him. "It _would_."

"I dunno," Brendon says. He wrinkles his nose and scratches his belly. Spencer makes a protesting noise and slides down to straddle his knees. Brendon's just in his briefs, because Spencer bitches about ballsweat on the couch, but Spencer can see his cock, half-hard under the cotton. Spencer lick his lips and leans over, nuzzling Brendon's groin with a happy hum. Fabric snags Spencer's beard so he pulls it out of the way, leaving it around Brendon's thighs as soon as it's out of the way. Brendon's cock is left laying on his belly. It's a really nice cock, not too big but not too small. Spencer giggles and Brendon squints down at him, so Spencer shrugs.

"Just right," Spencer says. He giggles again and Brendon makes a noise that means _sure, weirdo, whatever you say as long as you suck my dick_. Conveniently, that's what Spencer wants to do. Spencer nods and is still nodding when he starts licking, slowly tracing the thick vein on the underside up to the sensitive strip between the head and Brendon's circumcision scar. Brendon moans from somewhere far away but Spencer's busy. He retraces the slick path on hot skin, over and over.

When Brendon squirms, pulling on Spencer's hair, he just lays an arm heavy across his hips and keeps going. His only concession is to spit in his palm and start petting Brendon's balls, because they're hairy and kind of squishy and awesome, like stress balls or hackie sacks.

At some point Spencer starts licking the slit of Brendon's dick, flicking his tongue in and out. He vaguely imagines that someone watching him would laugh, because he probably looks like a snake tasting the air. Or maybe he's more like Bogart, licking his food bowl with hungry little whines as if he's going to make it spout peanut butter and chocolate.

Fuck, he's thinking about the dog during sex again.

Spencer shakes his head. His hair brushes Brendon's skin, making him whine, and that's enough to help Spencer focus. Brendon's cock is hard now, standing up from Spencer's fist, shiny along the slit. It's so fucking hot that Spencer watches for a long moment. He watches the way the skin slips through his hand as he strokes, the way Brendon's thighs twitch every time Spencer squeezes, the way his abs are flexing and rolling in time with Spencer's hand. The closer Brendon gets, the faster his muscles move, undulating in a way that hypnotizes Spencer so that the first splash of come over his fingers makes him gasp in surprise. Brendon's all quiet breathy grunts when he comes. Spencer can't stop looking between his straining arching upper body and the hot white spunk shooting over Brendon's belly.

"Jesus, B," Spencer says, leaning up to kiss him. He leaves a hand on his belly to rub in circles while they makeout, not even remotely giving a shit that they're getting jizz all over the living room rug. Brendon's lazy now but Spencer's close after watching him. He straddles a thigh and humps Brendon's hip, moaning when Brendon reaches down and helps by grabbing his ass. It's not anywhere close to fingering or fucking but they're both too high to coordinate that and it's enough for Spencer to get off.

They lay there for a long while, catching their breath and laughing at the dumbass commentary on MXC. It's a hell of a lot funnier when you're high.

 

***

 

Spencer wakes up the next morning to Brendon cackling. It's definitely not the first time that's happened, and Spencer doesn't even crack an eye open.

"Spence, Spence, check this shit out," Brendon crows. Fuck, he always knows when Spencer wakes up, the asshole.

"What, jackass?" Spencer says. He groans and sits up slowly, blinking his eyes into focus at the lurid website on Brendon's laptop.

"Dude, you can _copy your dick_." Brendon's almost laughing too hard to even talk and Spencer snorts.

"Yeah right," he says, and he rubs at his face before he looks back to the screen. " _Clone-a-Willy_?"

Brendon gasps and laughs, nodding and flailing his hands around enough that he almost knocks the laptop out of Spencer's lap. " _Yes_ , isn't that the best shit ever? Fuckin' great, man. I ordered three."

Spencer gapes at him. His boyfriend is a God damn _freak_.

" _Three_?"

"Yeah," Brendon says. He grins the grin that gets Spencer into more shit with Zack than anything else and shrugs, totally unrepretant. "One for mine, one for yours, and one for Ryan's if we can get him high enough."

Spencer is going to kill his boyfriend.

 

***

 

Spencer is going to _kill_ his boyfriend.

"God fucking damn it, Brendon," he says. "If you don't stop fucking _fucking around_ \--" Spencer breaks off into a yelp when Brendon pinches one of his nipples and _twists_.

"You are the pushiest bottom in the entire world, Spencer Smith," Brendon says.

Spencer knows this. There's a reason why his hands are tied to the headboard. He'd be fingering himself already if he could. But no, Brendon blew him until he was hard and panting and willing to agree to damn near anything and now Spencer is tied up and being licked from head to toe. But not his dick or his ass, oh no.

God damn asshole.

Brendon's between his legs now, teasing his blunt fingernails along the inside of Spencer's thigh. It's so close to what he wants and so not at all what he needs that it's driving Spencer fucking crazy. He's hard, his cock thick and heavy where it's laying on his belly, and he just wants Brendon to fuck him already.

Brendon knows this. He gives Spencer's other nipple a pinch too, lets both of them go at the same time, and smirks when Spencer can't help whimpering.

"Say please, Spencer Smith," Brendon says. Spencer glares at him and Brendon shrugs, brushing just the pads of his fingers over the head of Spencer's cock. It's the first time Brendon's really touched him in hours, Spencer would absolutely swear that in court. He is so kicking Brendon's ass for this later.

"Fuck, okay, please," Spencer says. He wraps his legs around Brendon's back and pulls, digging his heels in. "Brendon, come on, shit."

Brendon laughs and shrugs again, faux casual. "Fine, you know, if that's what you want." Spencer's about to start really spewing abuse when Brendon finally, _finally_ , presses two fingers behind Spencer's balls and starts stroking. Taint to asshole and back, over and over, and it's so fucking _good_ after all the teasing. Spencer moans and spreads his legs, bracing his heels in the bed and shoving his hips up.

"Fuck, Spencer, you're such a slut," Brendon says. He laughs, startled and breathy, when Spencer's cock twitches. Spencer doesn't know why he's so shocked; the asshole knows being called that gets him off.

"Yeah," Spencer says. Brendon's fingers are pressing at his asshole now, massaging and stroking around the rim, and Spencer will agree to anything Brendon says if he just keeps doing that, jesus.

He may have said that last part out loud because Brendon laughs again, smug this time.

"Just that?" Brendon asks. His face is completely innocent. Spencer knows that just means he's going to do something filthy and he takes a deep breath just in time before Brendon pushes two fingers inside of him.

"Fuck, B, _fuck_ ," Spencer says. He's whining already, damn, but the pressure is the perfect counterpoint to Brendon's thumb that's moving in tight little circles behind his balls.

Brendon uses two fingers and adds a third, finger-fucking him slowly with a twist to rub his prostate every fifth stroke or so. It's awesome, except for how Brendon's dragging it out more than he usually does. He's been dragging _everything_ out tonight and Spencer has no idea why other than maybe Brendon's decided to become a sadist.

"Brendon _please_ just fucking _fuck_ me," Spencer says, loud enough that he's glad they have their own house now and aren't in a hotel. Brendon nods and mumbles something, pulling his fingers away. Spencer sighs. _Finally_.

But instead of the blunt hot press of Brendon's cock, the next thing Spencer feels is Brendon's fingers. All four of them pushing into him as deep as they'll go until the crook of Brendon's thumb stops them.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" If Spencer had known how much better, how much more intense, that one little pinkie would make everything, they would have been doing this months ago. He thought they were going to fuck, because fisting is definitely not on the menu, but fuck, Brendon apparently knows what Spencer's ass wants better than Spencer does.

"Spencer, Jesus, you're so fucking hot." Spencer can hear Brendon babbling now, the dirty shit Brendon usually saves for when his dick's buried in Spencer's ass. "Such a slut for getting fucked in the ass, baby, look at you, practically taking my whole hand and begging for it."

It's true, not that Spencer'd admit to it sober or in mixed company. Spencer groans and yanks at his cuffs hard enough to make the headboard rattle.

"Brendon, please, fuck me, give me your cock, please," Spencer says. Pride is for people that don't have four fingers in their ass.

"Yeah. Yeah, baby, you're gonna look so good." Brendon's not moving his fingers much, slow shallow fucking that is not at all what Spencer wants but almost more than he can handle. It takes him a minute to really process what Brendon's saying.

" _Gonna_?" Spencer swallows hard, trying to clear his throat of squeakiness. "The fuck?"

Brendon just grins, cheeks flushed like he's the one getting fucked. He bends down and lays kisses on Spencer's cock which very effectively distracts Spencer from the fingers leaving his ass, _God_.

Then Spencer's left empty and panting to watch his asshole-about-to-get-dumped-boyfriend _leave the bedroom_.

"Brendon Boyd Urie!"

"Full name? Really?" Brendon's voice is muffled and there's a crash that sounds suspiciously like Spencer's cymbal collection right before Brendon shouts, "Nothing's broken!"

Spencer closes his eyes and tries to remember the breathing exercises from the anger management website that Zack likes to e-mail him.

"Fuck, Spencer." Brendon's voice comes clear now and Spencer opens his eyes. Brendon's standing at the end of the bed looking at him like Spencer is made out of Skittles and chocolate cake. He swallows hard when he realizes Spencer's looking. "You're just. Y'know. Really fucking hot."

"Shut up," Spencer snaps, but he spreads his legs and nods Brendon over. "C'mere, dude, what the fuck." The urgency is less now after his little meditation break, but he's still hard as fuck and just the sight of Brendon is revving him up again. Brendon bounces on the balls of his feet as he walks over and then crawls up the bed. Spencer twists to see what's in his hands--lube and condoms in his left hand, right, and a--"Is that a _dildo_?"

Brendon grins like he's got something to be fucking proud of. "Not just any dildo, Spencer Smith. A _clone_ dildo."

"I've told you before, no Star Wars jokes in bed," Spencer says. Then Spencer's brain remembers the _other_ time they've discussed clones. "Wait, you actually...?"

"Yup!" Brendon beams and nods like he's proud of Spencer for figuring it out. He crawls forward on his knees until he's between Spencer's legs, and then he rests the toy on Spencer's belly. It's heavier than Spencer had expected, and definitely bigger than Brendon's dick, which means that's. That's _his own cock_. On his _stomach_.

Spencer would really like to be able to deny how hot that is, but the look on Brendon's face means he's not going to believe him anytime soon. In fact, Brendon is already rolling a condom on the dildo and working a pillow under Spencer's hips.

"We'll do. Um. Yours first, okay?" Brendon says, blushing and waving the stupid thing around. Spencer just has to laugh that Brendon's shy little Mormon boy side is coming out _now_.

"Whatever, B, just fuck me with _something_." Spencer digs his heels in and rocks his hips up. Brendon nods and shifts gears in that way that Spencer loves, getting as focused as he ever is in the studio or when they're playing Halo. He smears lube on the head of the toy and just presses it to Spencer's rim, circling and teasing like he didn't just spend four million hours prepping. Spencer's not complaining this time, though. He can't get past the fact that he's going to _literally_ fuck himself.

Or, well. Brendon is going to fuck Spencer with Spencer's dick. And Brendon's dick. Still insane, either way you look at it.

Brendon must know perfectly well that Spencer's not paying attention because he tsks and flexes his forearm. The dildo pushes right in and Spencer groans, pulling his arms taut. It doesn't hurt at all; it just feels _awesome_ , just the right amount of pressure, filling Spencer right up. It makes him wish he could walk around like this all day. He has to get fucked to get off, but this initial stretch, this is his favorite part.

"There, Spence. Jesus, look at you," Brendon says. He knows to take his time, too. He bites his lip and his free hand is in his lap, playing with himself while Spencer squirms. Spencer watches him, picking his head up up so that he can see over his cock, smearing precome on his belly, and Brendon's wrist moving between Spencer's legs. The dildo moves inside him, rubbing firm and insistent right over his prostate.

"Brendon. God, B, Brendon, fuck," Spencer groans. His hips jerk as he tries to hold the cock there and Brendon smirks his best evil smirk because a toy doesn't care when Spencer clenches his ass, fuck.

"S'only gonna get better, Spencer." Brendon's voice is dark. It's his ringmaster voice. Spencer feels the bed shift and then Brendon's stretched out on top of him. They kiss, fast and sloppy, missing each other's lips half the time. The dildo's pounding into him now, Spencer can hear himself grunting, and Brendon's moving it in circles as they fuck.

"Okay. Okay, Brendon, come on." Spencer could so easily get off like this, if Brendon would touch him, or something. But instead of jerking him off, Brendon nods, pushes the dildo in deep, and shifts away.

Oh, right. Brendon's going to _add a dick_.

Jesus Christ.

Spencer takes a deep breath, focusing on keeping his cock in his ass while Brendon makes rustling noises and moves around.

"Move, Spence, like this?" Brendon's hand tugs on Spencer's hip until Spencer rolls on his side.

Spencer tries to curl, completely forgetting that it's not any different from having a leg on Brendon's shoulder, and curses. "Brendon, hurry _up_."

"Working on it, shit, chill out," Brendon hisses back at him. He does move faster though, snugging up behind Spencer's back, fingers playing around the toy where Spencer's all stretched out. "You sure?"

Spencer twists back just enough to glare and snap his teeth at Brendon's nose.

Brendon jerks back, eyes wide, but he laughs and nods. "Yeah, okay, okay then."

He kisses the back of Spencer's shoulder, pushing a leg between them. Then there's the blunt soft pressure of his cock, so familiar but so bizarre with Spencer's ass already full. A part of his brain is already screaming but Spencer tells it firmly to shut the fuck up and bears down.

 _Fuck_.

That _does_ hurt, in a way fucking hasn't since Spencer was seventeen. He'd forgotten that incredible feeling of forcing your body to calm, telling it no, no really, this too shall pass, just chill the fuck out for a minute. He can't hear Brendon now but he can feel skin and heat and nerves tingling all over.

He takes a breath hours, _days_ , later, when his heart starts beating again. He's gasping and Brendon's petting his side, telling him how pretty he is, how good this is. And it is _so_ good, so insanely good, that when Brendon wraps a hand around his cock and _finally_ jerks him off Spencer comes hard enough that he damn near passes out.

The toy comes out before Spencer comes to and then Brendon's fucking him, digging fingers into his hips. Spencer just lays there and whimpers, so sensitive he feels like he's near to tears. Brendon comes fast, too, and Spencer lets himself go limp.

He's still limp when Brendon pulls out, barely mewling at how awful it is to be suddenly so empty. He stays limp while Brendon shushes him and undoes the cuffs. Only one bedside lamp's on now, the room dark enough Spencer can breathe and relax but not so dark that he panics. Brendon brings him a glass of water and he drinks it all before Brendon slides under the covers with him. He holds him and Spencer puts his body back together, piece by piece.

God, they are definitely doing that again.

Although.

"Brendon."

"Yeah?"

"How the _fuck_ did you make a copy of my dick without me knowing?"


End file.
